My
Own Upbringing
I consider it a great personal misfortune to lose my
father on the eve of my first birthday. I was told by my mother and uncles that
my father, a USAFEE soldier, was killed in a military encounter with the
Japanese forces a couple of years before the end of World War II in 1945.
“Being a single parent, my mother was forced to work on 2 jobs to put food on the table for me and her orphaned nephew and nieces.” This would greatly affect my childhood and my future life.
Without a father and with a mother whom I seldom see because of her work, I was left literally on my own. The lack of the basic material things in life was made worse by the lack of parental guidance and discipline on my part.
Without a father and with a mother whom I seldom see because of her work, I was left literally on my own. The lack of the basic material things in life was made worse by the lack of parental guidance and discipline on my part.
Under these circumstances, while I became
independent at an early age while trying to solve my own problems, I made many
blunders that would affect my later life because of the frailties of a young
mind and the absence of guidance and discipline.
I started drinking and smoking at a young age of 12
years, then a pupil in the elementary school. First it was just a sip of
the local coconut drink “tuba” until it became a daily routine sessions with my
classmates after class. My drinking vice progressed to my high school and
college days and would later cause me a lot of serious problems of which I was
not proud of.
As I had nobody to tell me what is right and what is
wrong and give parameters to respect and follow, I went with the bad boys in my
age group and that had a bad influence on me. I became rebellious and
belligerent and I learned to hate the world. Although I passed my elementary
and high school education with honors, I cannot remember studying in the school’s
library or had been diligent with my homework and assignments. Then, I
was callous and bitter for everything the world offered because of my
misfortune of losing my father and the infrequent attention I got from my
mother.
The little good sense that remained in me took over
my misguided life with the approval of my USVA educational benefits with a
monthly pension of $80 in 1961. At last, I felt that God has given me the hope
and opportunity to mend my ways and change the path of my life. Yet all the
distractions and misdirection that I took in my early life was mainly because
of the absence of parental love and discipline or the lack of it, to say the
least.
Fortunately, my life has made a 360-degree turn when
I got married to a wonderful lady who accepted me with my foreground and all my
human weaknesses. By the time my first child, a daughter, was born in 1972, I
was ready to shed all my insecurities in life and make a complete change for
the sake of my growing family. Had I not taken a timely departure from my
wrongful ways to salvage my life being wasted and went along the path of
rectitude, I can imagine the likelihood to have become a bad element of
society. With all candor and humility, the status and achievements of my
4 children in their personal and professional life would affirm the fact that
me and my wife raised them with love and discipline.
Conclusion
The Holy Bible has affirmed the need to discipline
our children as an essence of love. In Deuteronomy 5:16 it is concise and clear of God’s will
for children to honor their parents. “Honor thy father and mother, as the Lord
your God has commanded you, so that you may live long and that it may go well
with you in the land Of the LORD your God is giving you”.
Hereunder are some Biblical edicts in child-rearing;
“It is not righteous to raise a child who lacks
self-discipline and is controlled by his or her desires, whether for attention,
food, material demands, or seeking to gain something from nothing”.
“Love is actively training and teaching our children
– diligently.” (Deuteronomy 6 : 6-7)
“Love is applying with faithful discipline.”
(Proverbs 23:24, 22:15,
23:13-14, 29-17) Discipline with consistency.”
What Author Laurie J Cooper said about
Discipline:
“Discipline is giving your child a 'track to run
on'; guidelines and boundaries, as they find their way through this life. Think
about it this way - can you imagine if you woke up in the morning, got into
your car to drive to work and when you got out on the roads, there were no
white lines, no yellow lines, no traffic lights, or signs, and no speed limit?
That would be pretty scary. There would be cars all over the place going in all
different directions! Not only would you not know what to do and where to go,
but you wouldn't be able to determine where someone else might be going or what
they might be doing. This is exactly what it feels like for a child with
no discipline. Children want your guidance! They need your help! “
I have always believed that the real measure of
parents is not by what they have become but by what have become of their
children.
In conclusion, it is mandatory that parents give the
maximum of their love and attention to their children, but at the same time,
keep a strict control on their activities. It is the home and the endearing
love of its family members that brings about a turnaround in a child's life.
Saying that parents are bad parents if they deal with their children with
appropriate discipline and strictness is definitely untrue and a fallacy.
Merry Christmas to All!
Rogelio G. Balo
Central Valley, California USA
December 23, 2013
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