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Monday, April 15, 2013

Funny political Jokes In The Philippines (Part1)

For as long as we could remember, funny political jokes played major roles in Philippine politics, specifically during elections. Instead of hurling harsh commentaries and negative diatribes about politicians, supporters from all political affiliations often resort to composing humorous jokes to give accusatory remarks without inflicting pain and much controversy.

For one, through jokes anyone could fire off scathing comments without inflicting real or serious injury.  For another, because jokes are made to provoke laughter, the jokester is allowed to submit the most acerbic opinions with minimal accountability, or even complete anonymity.

According to Dr. Clemente Camposano, Director of the Institute of Political Economy in the University of Asia and Pacific, “jokes allow people to talk about real problems ‘in a manner that does not create tension’.  ‘In a sense, the lightness of jokes allows Filipinos, deemed to be generally non-confrontational, to engage in political debates with minimal complications. Criticizing in a painless, faultless manner, this could well be the reason why Filipinos resort to jokes in the era of elections or other acute political debates.”
Most of the Filipinos believed that tough political discourses remain in the realm of the intelligent voters and the affluent the reason why jokes are effective medium of discussion among the much younger and less educated voters of the community.
Dr. Maria Rhodora Ancheta, a professor at the University of the Philippines in Diliman who has studied patterns and images of humor, says, “the comic’s object… as people will remember it is really just (to elicit) laughter. Parang as soon as I laugh, okey na ’yung joke na ’yan.” But political jokes in particular are an important public conversation, except that its content values are too often eclipsed by facetious form.” She added that, “comedians tend to always play on the periphery to mask the seriousness of politics, leaving to their audience a big burden: how to sift the serious messages from a comic rendering of the big issues.”
Dr. Ancheta  cited a sample joke that says: “Sabi nila, ’pag may dwende sa bahay, swerte raw at masagana ang buhay. Eh bakit may dwende sa Malacanang pero mahirap pa rin ang ’Pinas?” [They say that a house where a gnome dwells is a lucky and blessed house. But there is a gnome at MalacaƱang, so why is the Philippines still so poor?] “Dwende sa MalacaƱang is a moniker that some Filipino comics have bestowed on former  President Gloria Macapagal Arroyo, in reference to her Lilliputian frame.
In this instance, Ancheta notes that the joke suggests that Malacanang Palace and the home are parallel concepts, poverty is the problem, and that Arroyo is to blame for the people’s destitute state.
Nonetheless, please see some of the political jokes from different jokesters and political jokes composed that were inspired by events that occur in most local government units in the Philippines;

While walking down the street one day a Philippine congressman is tragically hit by a truck and dies. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.

"Welcome to heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you."  "No problem, just let me in," says the congressman.

"Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have you spend one day in hell and one day in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity."

"Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in heaven," says the congressman.

"I'm sorry, but we have our rules." And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. The doors open and the congressman  finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In a distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him. Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people. They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and champagne. Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly guy who is having a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are all having such a good time that before the congressman realizes it, it is time to go.

Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises... The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens in heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him, "Now it's time to visit heaven."

So, 24 hours pass with the congressman joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns. "Well, then, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity."

The congressman reflects for a minute, then he answers: "Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell."

So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. Now the doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage. He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above. The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulders.

"I don't understand," stammers the congressman. "Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?"

The devil smiles at him and says, "Yesterday we were campaigning..... Today, you voted.



JUDGE: Ano ba talaga nangyari?
ERAP: . (di nagsasalita) Silent
JUDGE: Sumagot ka sa tanong.
ERAP: Naman eh!!! Kala ko ba hearing lang to??? Bakit may speaking?


Reporter: Hon. Pres. Joseph Estrada, What do you think about these countries?
ERAP: What countries?
Reporter: Iran, Iraq and Egypt

ERAP: Oh, Iran is the past tense of I am running, Iraq is the only kind of things you find in the Japanese rock garden. Egypt naman is the pambansang vehicle of the Philippines, which waits for passengers anywhere in the streets!

ERAP visited a famous museum and unfortunately he broke a vase. The Museum Attendant became so terrified and said: 

MUSEUM ATTENDANT: Naku sir, more than 500 years old na po yang vase na nabasag ninyo.

ERAP:  Haay salamat. Akala ko bago! 


GMA: what if I throw a check for a million pesos out the window to make at least 1 Filipino happy?

CORY: but my dear, why don’t you throw 2 checks for half a million each and thus make 2 Filipinos happy?

RAMOS: why not throw four checks for a quarter of a million each and make four Filipinos happy?

 And on it went until finally, Estrada  blurts out:

ERAP: “Madam President, why not simply throw yourself out of the window and make all the Filipinos happy?”

They say that humor is infectious. When laughter is shared, it binds people together and increases intimacy and happiness. Most of all, laughter is free, fun and easy to do. Laughter is the best medicine.  

More jokes to come! 

April 9, 2013 Fresno, California USA

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